Happy New Year! I hope this will be a great year for you. Most of all, I hope that this year, you will be able to let go of your struggle with your body and food. I hope you’ll learn to love your body and realise that you are so much more than your body. I hope you learn to enjoy food and let go of your need to control.
To achieve this, you need to learn a new way to approach your wellbeing. I hate all that ‘new year, new you‘ and ‘best year yet’ stuff because it implies that there’s something wrong with you or your life right now, that you’re not good enough, that your life needs improving. This constant need for improvement makes you miss your life, which is here and now, and all the good you do have in your life already. You are enough just the way you are.
Accept what is
Most of your suffering is caused by not wanting to accept what is and wanting things you can’t control to be different. You need to learn to accept that you cannot control things and allow yourself to surrender to what is. As soon as you do this, even the worst situation doesn’t seem quite as bad as it was before. You can relax and just allow things to be. It is the fighting against reality that makes it worse. ‘Let it be’ is a good mantra.
You also need to accept yourself unconditionally as you are right now. Be happy now, with what you have, find the happiness within and stop expecting your body to make you happy – it never will. Things might be bad around you but you can still feel happy and at peace within you once you start finding things to be grateful for and accept that you cannot control things. This exercise will help you find the good in your life right now.
So now, instead of looking at what you need to improve, what’s wrong with you and your life, accept what is. Accept your body as it is. It is what it is and you cannot change it by hating and criticising it. You also do not need to make excuses or explain to others why your body is the way it is – this just implies that you haven’t fully accepted it as it is. Your job situation, relationships, everything around you, accept them as they are and let them be, focus on yourself, your inner self, instead and you’ll soon find that those things around you will start changing.
No doubt many of you want to focus on health and lose some weight in 2017 and this is perfectly fine. Accepting your body as it is doesn’t mean you can no longer want to lose weight or get fit. Realise also that there is nothing wrong with wanting to be slim and feeling good in your body – too often people are made to feel as if they shouldn’t want to be slim. It is ok to want what’s best for you and it’s ok to get it too. Achieving this will be easier once you accept your body as it is now because you’ll want to lose weight and eat healthy because you love your body, not because you hate it. You’ll also be better able to enjoy the process of getting healthy because you’re not so desperate to get to the end results as you love your body as it is. This makes everything easier.
The old fashioned dieting and focusing on what you eat and how much you eat rarely works – you know this by now. Instead of setting yourself a weight loss goal, why not try a different approach and focus on your relationship with food. I promise you, this approach works, though it might sound crazy right now but trust me and give it a try, put it to test.
Your health/weight loss goal: Make peace with food
This is about your relationship with food. If food was a person, how would your relationship be? I would say that if you’re like most women, it’s probably a very dysfunctional co-dependent relationship. You might even be a bit of a bully, blaming food for everything, yet also expecting food to solve all your emotional issues. Meanwhile, food just sits there, doing nothing, you’re totally in control in this relationship. This has to stop. This is why you go from one diet to another and never get any lasting results. It’s not what you eat, it’s why you eat, it’s your dysfunctional relationship with food.
Make peace with food.
Imagine being able to enjoy food, not needing to label every food as good or bad. Imagine not feeling addicted to any foods (that ‘I have to have chocolate every day’ feeling is a sign of an addiction) and being able to either not eat cake or eat it, enjoy it and not feel guilty. Imagine life without those battles in your head over what you should and shouldn’t eat. Imagine being in total control and feeling relaxed around food. How amazing would that be? This is a healthy, peaceful relationship with food and this is what you should aim for because this is the key to health and weight loss and to making it easy. If your relationship with food isn’t healthy, then weight loss and keeping the weight off will always be a struggle. When the relationship is good, weight loss is natural and the idea that keeping weight off is hard sounds ridiculous, because it is.
So this year, stop focusing on what you eat and simply just concentrate on creating a peaceful relationship with food and I promise you, you will achieve your weight loss goal without even trying! That is all there really is to it! Have a good year 🙂
Read more about signs of a healthy or unhealthy relationship here